Saturday, May 20, 2006



For some reason, the boy has just decided to fall off of the face of the earth. I've emailed him, called him, and texted him over the last week, and I haven't heard a damned thing back. I don't know what brought about this stubborn and seemingly purposeful disappearance. But it is annoying as all fuck.

I don't know why he apparently currently feels like he doesn't have to talk to me, email me, see me, or be my friend, but I can only assume this phase will end, and he'll expect me to not be upset about the fact that he thinks he can be a friend only when and if he feels like it.

Goddamnit, so many of my friends fucking suck. He still doesn't suck quite as much as my ridiculously self-obsessed roommate (when I tried to even bring up the subject of the boy with him, I got a stream of words about her own problems - it's like the rest of the world doesn't even exist, other than to support her), but he's getting there. And thing is, while she's oblivious to the fact that she simply sucks at friendship, I can't believe that he doesn't know he's being a total ass.

Friday, May 19, 2006



I'm just like completely and totally filled with negative energy these last few days. I want to make people sad, for no good reason really, other than just having bad thoughts. It's probably not the best thing.

But even worse than that, is that I feel like I'm losing my warmth and caring for people around me in a fairly alarming kind of way. I mean, I know I complain about roommate, but I still usually think of her as my friend, annoying though she may be. We were watching the Will and Grace finale, along with another friend, and they were being all sappy about friends as family, the people you count on, yada yada yada. And she made some comment about how appropriate it was to us. It was all I could do not to roll my eyes. I don't feel it at all.

That kind of freaks me out - that I'm losing my affection for people. And gaining in my misanthropy. It just can't be a good thing.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006



Went to see Poseidon tonight, so now I'm all hyped up on disaster movie. Those things are as good as like five Coca-Colas to me. I don't know why - I've seen enough movies that the plots all fall into the same formulas and the endings are predictable from way ahead. Still, they almost never fail to get me all hyper and jumpy, and I'm left to enjoy the sugar high. Horror movies are often the same way. I like it, obviously, which is why I keep going back to these movies and spending my money on them. N ow it is time to sleep, though, so I can go to work in the morning, and instead, I want to hop around the apartment until my energy starts to fade.

Incidentally, the movie isn't very good as a movie, but does all the things that this type of movie are supposed to do, so it gives you what you pay for. If anyone was actually expecting the movie to be dramatically interesting or original, I don't know what to say to them. They must not go to the movies very often.

Sunday, May 14, 2006



So, I finally got a new car this weekend, and she is very very red and little and cute, and I love her. My computer is back from the repair shop, too. I may also be getting better, though I'm holding off on a final judgement on that one. I've been waking up feeling yucky many less times in the middle of the night, though, so the extra sleep has felt very good. It's funny, because there's nothing fabulously wonderful going on in my life, but all these little things that have been missing coming back feels pretty damned good.

This may be the one moment in time ever that I'm actually pretty easy to please.

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