Saturday, April 15, 2006



So, last night I was watching a Netflix - You Stupid Man, a dumb romantic comedy, but one that stars my beloved Milla Jovovich. Which makes it a rare romantic comedy where I'm actually rooting for the protagonist girl to find love, since, as we all know, Milla Jovovich kicks major ass, and only good things should happen to her.

Well, I'd gotten nearly ninety minutes in, and had just watched the titular stupid man leave Milla after they had just finally gotten together to go back to his vapid ex-girlfriend. And... the DVD player dies. I try the dvd in our other household dvd player, and in my computer - no dice, the end won't play. I even tried again this morning on all three, and it still just won't work.

I think it figures that the one time I want to see the happy ending, it proves impossible. There is some greater meaning here, I can just feel it.

Thursday, April 13, 2006



My friends are finally finishing up with their week-long test. It's been a long week without much to do, and too much time to think. I'm trying to rebound, and get back to normal. Once I've been in my head for too long, though, it makes it difficult.
This weekend is my birthday party, so hopefully that will pick me up. I'm of course stricken with a crippling fear that nobody will show up. I know I should have more faith in my friends than that. I'm just in a mood, and I've got to break it.
I bought a fancy dress, and made an appointment to get my hair prettied up, in an effort to distract myself. Sometimes I think those things, that looking forward, just makes me even more fearful that the event I'm planning for will fall through, fall apart, whatever, and leave me disappointed.
Oh, who the hell knows. It's just me being my impossible to please self. And for those keeping track, ex boyfriend never did give me so much as a birthday card or phone call to acknowledge my birthday, even late. Rock on, rock star.

Monday, April 10, 2006



So, this is the anniversary of the first relationship I ever had. I don't usually even notice, because I'm in one of those moods where things like that seem to matter.
He was kind of a creepo, anyway, which I guess given my stellar taste in men, isn't that much of a surprise.
The thing that I'm thinking about is that when he broke up with me, after six months of torturous dating (seriously... creepo), he told me that he just deep down didn't like me the way he should. He gave it as both the reason he was never very nice to me, and the reason he was breaking up with me.
Now, in my current state, it seems to me, though, that those words are just a slightly less-nice version of the "there's something missing in my heart when I'm with you" that I just got from ex boyfriend. I'm trying not to get unduly alarmed by this, but... there it is.

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