Thursday, March 16, 2006

 

words

Seeing Ex Boyfriend tonight and we're gonna have to have a talk. I dread these things. I want it to work; I swear I do. I'm not optimistic, though. And even though I think I've mostly got my thoughts in order for it, I SUCK at talking, so I'm bound to screw it up hugely.

The boy says he is going to find my perfect man for me. It's so funny. The guys I fall in love with always want to find someone to match me with, so they can be unburdened of the weight of my affection. It has happened a lot.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

 

worry

I'm really scared that it isn't going to work out with ex-boyfriend. At this point, it's pretty much at 50% really great, and 50% not working. It leaves me totally confused about what the right thing to do is.
I mean, I really want it to work. But I don't want to kid myself, and then get blindsided if it implodes. I'm worried. And then I don't want my worry to be the thing that ends up screwing it all up.
I don't know. It's sort of a rough spot. I want to figure it out, and make it be okay. That's not really my strong point, though. Unless wishing really hard is enough to make it so.

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