Tuesday, July 25, 2006

 

twist

Everything I said about ex-boyfriend in the last post is true. We're over. I'm fine that we're over. We're not even friends anymore, and while saying I'm fine with that might be an exaggeration, I accept it and know that it is how it has to be.

Why, then, does the fact that he's in love with someone else now make me feel like my stomach just dropped out of my body?

Am I just bitter that he found someone first? Do I really truly want him to not be happy? These thoughts make me feel like a terrible person. I think really, though, I just want him to miss me. I just want someone to miss me. Since I spend all this time missing people, who don't seem to give a thought to me at all. Which is dumb, because their way is so much smarter and happier than mine. I should be emulating them. Instead, the fact that they aren't like me makes me that much sadder.

So dumb.

Incidentally, and this part is just a bitter rant - the girl he is with is the girl he dumped me for who then dumped him. She apparently changed her mind and wanted him back, and now they are more together than they ever were before. How and why does that happen? And why does it never happen to me?

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