Sunday, July 23, 2006

 

time

It's definitely been a long time since I've written here. I think it is mostly because I have actually continued to keep my life free of the boy. No phone calls, no emails, haven't run into each other when we were out with friends even one time. And I worry that if I blog, I'll write about him; and if I write about him, I'll think about him; and if I think about him, I'll do something colossally stupid and call him or something.

Which is dumb, because I'm doing fine. I still miss him, but I can't even remember my last monster crying attack, which is really impressive.

On the topic of boys, I did talk to ex-boyfriend a few times over the last few weeks, and all it did was prove that whatever was there between us is gone. And I don't just mean the attraction thing. We were good friends for so long. And we've even dated before and that survived. But now, maybe the break-up was bad enough, or maybe we've just changed so much, that the connection, the understanding between us is totally gone. I guess that causes me some measure of relief and some measure of sadness at the same time.

Other than that, life here in L.A. has mostly consisted of trying not to melt. I got home at 2 a.m. last night, and my air-conditioningless apartment was still a balmy 95 degrees. This heat wave shit has got to end.

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