Wednesday, June 07, 2006

 

distract

Right in the middle of our marathon fight last night, when I was miserable and just trying not to cry and not to vomit, having to force the words out of my fricking throat, you know what the boy was doing? He was leaving cutesy messages on his girlfriend's myspace page. How funny is that?

I don't know that I need someone to talk about this with, because the thought of it basically makes me want to slam my head into a wall. And I don't know that talking would improve the situation any.

But I do wish I had people to talk to at all - to distract myself, to try to pretend to be happy about something, whatever the fuck... but instead I feel all deserted and alone. I'm not sure if it's a real thing, or just something that is going on in my head. Maybe both.

Oh, and the damned conversation put me over my cell phone minutes for the month, so I'm literally going to end up paying for it. That's so damned typical.

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