Saturday, April 22, 2006

 

silent

Last night was a quiet night, and sort of a weird one. I was missing ex-boyfriend more than I have in a couple of weeks and thinking about good times we'd had together before he decided he didn't feel that way. I know a reasonable person would tell me it was general loneliness that led more to those thoughts and feelings, rather than some special thing that he and I had that merited the melancholy. And I'm sure they'd be right. I can even halfway believe it myself. But it never really feels that way at the time.

Then I went to bed, and dreamed of just about exactly what I had done that night, but with slightly different results. I watched the same movie that I had watched, but the ending was different. I played the same game, but won instead of lost. Had conversations with the same people, and even got phone calls I was waiting for that didn't actually come in the real night. It was a bit weird to dream so close so close to what's real, but not quite.

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