Sunday, April 16, 2006

 

party

This weekend actually ended up going fairly well. My birthday party was last night, and my friends showed up and were all on their best behavior for me. It was really fun. It's nice when you have such high hopes for something, and it doesn't turn out to be a complete disaster. Ex boyfriend did not show up, not that I thought he would. I suppose even a phone call telling me to have fun would have been a bit much to ask for, but he could have texted or something. That shouldn't have put him out too much. Fortunately, I have friends to make up for his not being so awesome. Alex stayed super late, even though he had to drive up to his family's for Easter. And the boy apparently broke free from the girlfriend for a night, since he stayed until closing. So, that felt nice, like I matter to some people. Which I should feel all the time, but my perilously low self esteem gets in the way.

I did wake up at 4:30 to puke my guts out, but I guess everyone has to do that from time to time.

Easter today with the kids was good. I'm kind of in a post-birthday party funk, like I had so focused my attention on that night, that there's all this space for the negativity about other things to fill now that I'd been directly toward the party before. But my roommate and friend Eric were pretty cool about my mood, and managed to perk me up a little. And friend Eric's former paramour came and even brought me flowers for my birthday, which I thought was pretty damned sweet.

All in all, not a bad weekend at all. Now I just have to figure out something else to direct my energies toward, since I had a few alcohol enduced bitchy moments of coveting the boy Saturday night, and I'm not about to let that become the norm again. And I've thought about ex boyfriend more than I want to already.

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