Saturday, April 08, 2006



I survived my birthday, and the last few days, though there's been trouble with the family. I'ts hard when I know they are all going through a lot, but I am too. I'm making it, though.
I hung out with friends tonight, which was good for me, but it ended a little earlier than I would have hoped, and now I'm left looking at the clock, and knowing ex boyfriend's party is raging on. I was sure I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to show up just to see him, since he broke up with me over the phone and I haven't been able to see him. It would be some sort of closure, but of course it would also be a terrible idea. I can't wait for the time to be late enough that I can tell myself that it's too late to go, even if I want to. Relying on my own self-restraint is a fool's bet, of course.
Today, I looked on his myspace page and saw one of his friends encouraging him to fool around with hot girls to celebrate. That was pleasant. I'm sure that's what he is doing, too. Yuck.

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