Tuesday, January 17, 2006



Today at work, my friend Ali asked me why on earth the boy was #1 on my Myspace friend list. And I answered, out of habit, the same way I would have any time in the last year, that he just is my best friend, and that is where he should be.
But then I was thinking about it, and of course, he isn't my best friend, isn't all that good of a friend at all, really. So, I moved him down. And it's so stupid, I mean, it is more or less a meaningless gesture. It only means something in that it signifies something to me. He'll never notice. Probably nobody will.
I know I have to really mean it, though. Even as much of an ass as he's been lately, as few crumbs as he tosses my way, I could still keep hanging on if I let myself. And I'm really trying not to. So, if I feel like it is independent and bold and brave of me to move him down on my stupid Myspace friend list, I guess that's progress, maybe.
Or, I just want to look for things to be proud of myself for, since there aren't all that many to find.

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