Sunday, January 08, 2006



I'm too down to even watch football today. And I guess I should think of it as some sort of mental health improvement that it is "things are really ending" down, rather than "why isn't he calling... call me call me call me" down, but it really doesn't feel even slightly better, to be honest. There's a lot of things that I am not good at, but I am definitely worst at letting go, and maybe I am, sort of, doing that right now, but it hurts like fucking hell.
And speaking of letting go, it seems likely that I will have to let go of my beloved Patriots giant playoff winning streak next week. I'm not being entirely defeatist, and I know all hope is not entirely lost, but it's a long shot. The Patriots have made a habit out of winning Super Bowls and big games when I've been heartsick and needed a pick-me-up. But I suspect the bag of tricks may finally be running low. I'll watch and root with all my heart. They certainly bring their best game to the playoffs. I guess we'll see.
Of course, it is exceptionally sad that my own powers of helping myself are still so non-existent that I look to a football team as my inspiration to keep moving forward when things are bad.

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