Wednesday, January 04, 2006



First of all, side note, guess I was wrong about evil winning out, at least at the Rose Bowl, so that's nice.

Another good thing that happened today is that my mom asked me for money. That probably doesn't sound so great, but my parents haven't had a car for a long time. They also both haven't had jobs for a long time. I try to help, but my mom is just too proud to let me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not like super-loaded, but I make enough money that I could lighten their load, and it has really bothered me that I couldn't, that she wouldn't let me.

A few months ago, I had basically begged her to let me give her the downpayment for a car. The winter cold of Massachusetts is not a good place to be without a car. She can't even get to the grocery store unless she can find a family member to give her a ride. And not only wouldn't she let me, she really got upset even at the suggestion, and started to cry. So, that's been frustrating.

Well, today my mom called me to say that she had gone out and bought a car, that she couldn't take it without one any longer. Of course, she used all her bill money for the month to do it, so she needs money from me. And being able to do that, to make things a little easier, a little better for my mom, who always tries to make my life better even though she's got pretty much nothing for herself - it is just nice, even though she keeps insisting she is going to pay it back, which I don't want or need.

Of course, my problems with the boy, and my confusion about how to move away from that, kind of casts a pall over my joy, even on this day, which is otherwise so satisfying for me. Today is a good day. It really is. So, why do I have to keep like reminding myself of that, just because one stupid boy who isn't even very nice doesn't want to hang out with me.

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