Sunday, January 15, 2006

 

boy

With all that I've been talking about work, I haven't mentioned the boy lately. I did send him a message about how bad things at work were getting, and like everyone else (except my ex-boyfriend) he didn't respond Friday night. He did call early Saturday afternoon, though, which at least puts him ahead of my roommate, who didn't call until Saturday night, and had no idea what was wrong or what I might be upset about - she just wanted to kvetch about her own problems. She really is a doll sometimes.
Anyway, when he called on Saturday afternoon, he was pretty decent about asking me how I was doing, even though he's clearly going through some shit of his own, which in true the boy fashion, he won't talk to me about. So, I guess I sort of appreciate the gesture, but I'm not going to bend over backwards to keep him in my life right now, because he still just isn't quite worth all the work and heartache it takes to do that.
But, he found out I have to work on Monday, and was bummed because "we were gonna hang out Sunday night". I told him I didn't think that was the case, and he said, "in my mind, it was". So, we made plans to hang out tonight, sort of, and I was just kinda blah about it, and haven't really been dwelling on it so that he can't take over my brain the way he sometimes does.
Then, last night he called around ten to say his plans for the night fell through, and ask if I wanted to get a drink. I said, no, I was already out. So, I think I'm being as protective of myself as I can be, while not completely shutting the door on him. It's probably still a recipe for disaster, but I guess I'm feeling too vulnerable with all of my other issues to just turn away from him altogether. Nobody ever accused me of being all that bright.

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