Friday, December 02, 2005

 

night

So, it is nights like tonight that I really wonder if something is off aobut me. I didn't have anything to do tonight, and I mentioned that to my roommate yesterday. She said she wasn't sure if she was going to have drinks with her classmates this afternoon (which they do every Friday), but she may or may not be free after.
She emailed me today at about 3, to say that she was going for drinks, but she would call me later. And then she never did. I feel all sorts of upset about it, like actually shaky. It isn't that she chose to hang out with them. I kind of could expect that, and it's fine. It is just that she didn't even bother to call. This is the same girl who threw a rant THIS WEEK about how she can't stand it when people say they will call you later, and then don't do so in a timely manner.
I can hear in my head how she would be if anyone treated her with such lack of respect, but somehow it is okay for her to do to me. And I sort of feel like that is the way that a lot of people feel about me, that they're allowed to treat me crappier than they would anyone else. So, I think I'm really just about to cry. Like, it seems like such this tiny thing, but I can't take it. I'm just hurting from sadness right now, or something.

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