Saturday, December 17, 2005



On the way home from driving my friend to the airport today, I was stopped at a red light. In the car in front of me, the man and woman took the opportunity to kiss while they were stopped. And I almost started crying. It's like, I have these friends that I love, and I'm always doing the stuff I like to do. I have a boy who I love, and while I kind of miss sex, you get kind of used to not having it. It's those little awesome moments where you feel like someone digs you that much that are the only thing about boyfriends that I really miss, that make it sting.

Last night, my plans with my friend ending up merging with the plans of the boy, so I did end up seeing him one more time before he goes home for Christmas. We didn't fight - there were way too many people around for that. He was mostly civil, even friendly, to me anyway. But, you know, that's not really much. Especially when I'm still thinking about how deep down, when he's honest, he thinks I'm obsessively crazy and is considering ditching me until I become less obsessive or less crazy or whatever. So, when in front of everyone else, he's all "Hey! How are you?" and shit, it doesn't mean anything really.

Well, at least he punched me again, pretty hard. Though it doesn't hurt much today, so I don't think I'm going to get another pretty bruise. That would have been a nice little present from him that I could have while we are apart for Christmas.

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