Sunday, December 11, 2005

 

fill

Haven't heard from the boy since that unpleasant conversation Thursday night. And I really had no reason to expect to, though some part of me did foolishly continue to hope to.
I've been trying to fill every minute so I don't turn into a pathetic marshmallow who calls him back so he can be shitty to me some more. I've managed it so far, but then, it has only been two and a half days. If I'd let myself have any downtime at all, I probably wouldn't even have lasted this long. This weekend, I've been out to dinner with my friends, went to a bar I'd never been to on the other side of town (called Father's Office, which was totally lame atmosphere wise, but had little boxes of Trivial Pursuit cards you could play with, which very much pleased nerdy little me), drove all the way down to Newport Beach to see the John Waters exhibit at the Orange County Museum of Art, went to dinner way over at the Huntington Beach Pier, and then went to a show, of which I knew not one single band, just to get out of the house. And the sad thing is, I don't think I've been very pleasant through any of it. It distracts me enough to get me to not physically pick up the phone, but not enough so that I've actually stopped thinking about him at all.
Today, though, I go pick Alex up at the airport in a little bit, and then... that's it. I've got nothing but time to think about missing the boy, and think about what he is doing without me, and so forth and so on... If I get through the rest of the day without calling him, it will be a miracle. And of course, if I've been trying to make any kind of point by not calling, I don't think it will be a very emphatic one if I can only manage two days.

Comments:
Impeach Bush!


"War is the means by which Americans learn geography."
   -- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)


Impeach Bush!
 
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