Tuesday, December 20, 2005



Watching TV. Horrible, crappy, reruns of shows I don't even like in the first place. I'm trying desperately to convince myself that they are distracting me from my nightmarish boredom and loneliness in this empty wasteland of a stupid city, but the truth is, not so much.
I guess I'm sort of settling down about the boy dating another girl. What can I do? If I'm not willing to walk away, there's not really any action I can take that will help me through this. And I should walk away, and I know it. But, I don't. So, I guess I just sit here and hope his thing with her doesn't last, and then he'll be lonely enough to spend the bulk of his time with me.
It really is terrible that I have to root for his unhappiness to create my happiness. I'm a shitty excuse for a friend to him. Though I guess he's less than a perfect friend to me, so maybe we're even.

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