Monday, November 14, 2005

 

tired

I left work early for a dentist's appointment, so I've been home for a couple hours now. I'm thinking about last night less and less, though I still get a fresh flush of embarrassment each time it crosses my mind again. I'm the kind of person who just can not forget like any mistake I ever make. I'm still haunted by the errors I made in front of the class in like, second grade. Embarrassment just clings to me. And I think a lot of people are somewhat like that, but I'm even worse than most. I'm gonna try to forget all about it. Which is what should happen. It was a drunken mistake, and I shouldn't let it get to me so much. But I know myself, and that just won't work.

I want the boy I'm in love with to come over and give me a hug, and tell me it is okay that I did a stupid thing. Of course, that would require my telling him what I'd done and his becoming a completely different person than the one he currently is. So, it seems unlikely.

I just want to take a nap and wake up yesterday.

Also, I still have to figure out what I'm going to tell the boy I'm in love with about the misguided email I sent him the other night. (Wow. I really was batting a thousand this weekend, wasn't I?) I tried to play it off, but he wasn't biting. He wants an explanation. I don't have one. So, that should be a delightful conversation as well.

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