Saturday, November 19, 2005

 

red

So, I picked up the boy last night, and he was, as anticipated, already completely drunk. I was pretty bitchy to him all through dinner, to express how annoyed I was, but then I let it go, because I wanted to at least TRY to have some fun.
We went to this totally dive bar that I'd never been to before, but I guess he used to frequent with another girl. The regulars were drunk, old, and somewhat toothless. Which is fine, I can enjoy local color as much as anyone.
Well, we went and sat down at a table and the people at the next table over started making (very drunken conversation). One drunken fellow in particular, named Juanito, was especially talkative. To perhaps illustrate Juanito's state, I had to be introduced to him about 3 times before he remembered that we had introduced ourselves.
Well, after about 15 minutes, Juanito decided to announce to us his theory of our relationship. He said, "so, you two have never hooked up, but you both want to." And I was humiliated, but tried to just subtly shake my head like I had never even considered such a ridiculous notion. And he just continued on aobut how even our reactions gave us away. And he went on and on and on. About the point where he was saying to the boy that I'm quite attractive, so he should be happy, Juanito caught him self, and asked if he wasn't stepping on any toes. The boy's answer: "No way, man. You want her, go ahead and take her. She's all yours."
I'm really shy around strangers, especially loud and drunken ones, so I hadn't been saying much at all. At this point, I just glared at the boy, and told him I couldn't believe he had fucking said that, and that he was a fucking asshole. The drunken people kind of laughed and backed off. Granted, part of my sad was that he was in effect rejecting me again, but I still feel like it was a mean thing to say, irregardless of my feelings for him.
Juanito wandered over a little while later, after things had settled down between the boy and myself a bit, and he sort of whispered in the boy's ear: "She's gonna love you forever, dude. You're a lucky man." At which point, I excused myself to go cry in the bathroom.
Later, the boy was talking about how he just doesn't want to hurt people or make them feel bad (in an entirely different context) and I said, "oh, like hurting them by offering them up to drunken strangers for your own amusement?" I think he got it then, how crappy what he did was.
It was just a sad and embarrassing night on so many levels.
I talked to Alex about it and he said I should accept it as a sign of things being truly over. But he just wasn't paying enough attention to Juanito, the drunken sage. I'll love the boy forever.

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