Monday, November 14, 2005



Now, in the sober light of day, thinking about last night is so humiliating that I can't even breathe. I seriously laugh about it one second, and want to cry the next. I've no idea what I was doing. Usually, I do things that are mildly strange, stupid or self-destructive, but last night was a real prizewinner.
I mean, it'd be one thing if it was the boy I'm in love with. Probably still a dumb idea, but you know, at least that'd make some kind of sense. But Alex is my friend. I'm not pining for him or lusting after him or any such thing. I swear, it was like alcohol psychosis or something. What was I doing?
But second-guessing doesn't erase it. And I'm seriously just too embarrassed to live.

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