Saturday, November 05, 2005

 

change

So, I went and got my hair cut, colored, and straightened today. I've had long curly hair pretty much forever, so it's a big change. I guess I am happy with it, though I don't know what I was thinking when I got bangs. I like them, but only people who are willing to spend time on their hair should get bangs, and I am sure as hell not one of those people.
But why did I do it? I think I really was partly just itching for change. And I had the money right now. Who knows when I will again?

But, I also think the fact that the boy has never been attracted to me with my long curly hair, be it dark, light, red, or fuchsia (and it has been all of those colors since he's known me), nor has he ever appeared to be attracted to any curlyheaded girl may have played a role in my decision. And I didn't go out and get a total short hipster haircut (though I teased my friends that I was going to), but I do think part of me is hoping he will see the new me, and get all of a sudden overwhelmed with desire. I realize that I am going to be disappointed. But the nagging bit of hope is there nonetheless. Stupid hope.

I don't really know if my hair even looks good. I'm going to see Alex tonight, for the first time since he's been back from Europe. I'm sure he'll tell me true if I've made a horrible mistake.

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