Wednesday, October 05, 2005

 

smack

So, I finally caved and called the boy. And I hung up after less than one ring, because I had a last-second renewal of determination. However, I guess he heard the one ring, and he called me right back. I tried to be cold, I swear I did, but in the first 30 seconds of the conversation he told me he broke his wrist. He's hurt. How can I be cold to him when he's hurting? And he hurt himself and I wasn't there to take care of him because I was trying to be all independent or whatever.

Not that he called me for help, or that he ever would. But, the bottom line is I can't break away from him when I feel like he needs me, which he clearly does right now. Who else is going to baby him when he does stupid things like clumsily breaking pieces of his precious self?

And he wants the babying, too, even if he wouldn't admit it. I could tell it in how sweet he was to me, how HE asked when he was gonna see ME (it's always the other way around), the way he had his tentative, "please please be nice to me" voice on. Yeah, I'm a bit ridiculous. Don't care. So long as I feel like he has use for me, how could I walk away?

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