Tuesday, October 11, 2005


Part 2

So, as I'm at the bar, trying not hyperventilate, and telling my roommate I'm going to go home and commit seppuko (NO idea if that is the correct spelling), the boy saunters up and says Hi while the unidentified female buys their drinks. Now, I'm trying to be polite and not give away the fact that I want to crawl in a hole and die, but actually speaking to him is just more effort than I can muster. So, I'm doing a lot fake-smiling and nodding.
After a few minutes, chickie brings his drink and they take off to rejoin the cool kids. I breathe a sigh of relief because as much as I usually will take seeing him anyway I can get it, this is just beyond what I can handle.
But lo and behold, he comes back a few minutes later, leaving her with the cool kids, and hanging out with us instead. Unfortunately, the damage from what I thought was going has been done, so I can't really talk still. Basically, I'm just stuck there while he has a cordial conversation with my roommate. The funny thing is, I think for once I was able to mask my emotions fairly well non-verbally at least so what was actually me spiralling out of control, played more like cool indifference.
A few minutes later, the unidentified female comes back over, with her boyfriend, who just arrived. Oops. They all go outside and my roommate tries to calm me down, reiterating again and again that it was all innocuous and that I should relax. But that few minutes when I thought it was the way I thought it was... it's hard to come down off of that heart attack.
We're ready to leave, so I just am heading to run to the ladies' one last time, when the boy comes up and tries to stop me, saying that he was coming to say goodbye. And I don't even break stride, just smile and wave. I know he's not used to that.

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