Friday, October 07, 2005

 

out

It's funny. I'll feel okay, like I could see or not see the boy and I'll get by. That I'd love it if he called me, but if he doesn't, I have plenty to keep myself busy.

And then, all of a sudden, for no real reason at all, it's like all my energy and okayness drains out of me, and I just am crazy to pick up the phone and call him right this second. I know if I do, and he doesn't want to see me, though, I'll cry and we'll fight. It'll just be bad news. But just the fact that I'm not talking to him right now is kind of giving me the shakes. And I don't know what happened between this moment and the last that all of sudden fucked my shit up.

It's like my need creeps up on me when I'm not looking and then takes over my entire brain.

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