Monday, September 26, 2005



Here's my problem: I've watched too much TV. And I can't undo all the damage it has done. Sure, for the last 3 or 4 years, I've barely watched TV. There's not one single show that I have to watch. But that's a new development. I was raised in front of the TV from when I was a tiny tot and between the ages 12 and about 24, I put away a good 12-14 hours of the stuff a day.
You know what? TV's not like life at all. And I know that, too, somewhere in my twisted brain. But I have so much sitcom history telling me otherwise, a whole lifetime of things working out in a halfhour, and even the sad endings coming out bittersweet at worst. And that's bullcrap. Knowing that it's fake, and yet being unable to stray from TV daydream of a lifeview has given me total multiple personality disorder.
Like I said, I don't watch that much TV anymore, and I when I do, it is almost never sitcoms (too close to Romantic Comedy territory where I don't ever like to go). However, my roommate and I have found ourselves drawn to How I Met Your Mother, a show which is a bit cutesy and a bit conventional, but that makes us laugh. Two episodes in and we aren't sick of it. Yet anyway.

But watching it reminds me of all the wrong lessons that television has handed me over the years and I swallowed whole, leading me to my present predicament. The obsessive neurotic semi-stalker type who leads the show is adorable as all Hell.. ON TV. In real life, not so much. If you don't believe me, my friends wouldn't hesitate to tell you. They certainly don't hesitate to tell me.
And when he realizes he isn't going to get the girl he loves... they become friends. Right then, right there. It's so easy, so cookie-cutter and great. Even if I wanted to let go of my boy, I know it'd be messy, it'd be hard, and we'd probably never be friends again. But Mr. TV, right after he lets go of his dream girl, they go out for a drink. And she tries to set him up with another girl. Oh, how sweet, so cute.
I guess nobody wants to see the adorable little semi-stalker crying and listening to drippy music for a few months after he gets his heart broken. And that's why it isn't on TV.
But, you watch too much TV, and your heart starts believing it, or at least wanting to believe it,so much that it refuses to know it can't be true.

So, that's it. I blame TV.

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