Tuesday, September 20, 2005

 

gray

You know how when you remember bad things happening, it always seems like the room or place where you were was ominously dark? And probably, it really wasn't, but the darkness of the memory you're having paints the physical setting along with it.
Well, I guess I started being cognizant of that from an early age, but didn't entirely know how to deal with it. So, when the world was darker, the sky was grayer, I'd always involuntarily brace myself for what bad things were going to happen. And sometimes they would, but most of the time, I'd be worrying myself for nothing.
It's raining today in L.A., where it almost never rains. And I just kind of noticed that I feel anxious and worried about what bad things are going to happen, even moreso than usual. I guess some habits stay with you, even when you should have outgrown them long ago.

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