Saturday, September 17, 2005



So, sometimes stalking habits die hard. I find, every so often, I need to do a comprehensive stalking of like everyone I've ever dated, just to see what they are up to now how they've been and whatnot. Not in any scary kind of way, just because these were people who were in my life and now aren't, and I'm curious. That's not so strange, is it?
Well, I did one of these check-ups a couple of days ago, and found the blog of a boy I briefly dated. And this boy, he's no dreamboat. He's kind of large, and his face is not so very handsome. At this risk of sounding mean, this is a memory I have that might illustrate my point. When we broke up, I had, in anger, thrown a framed picture of him against the wall and it fall behind a bunch of stuff. Months and months later, when I was cleaning my room, I came upon the picture, having forgotten all about it, and it... startled me. Because I guess he's a little scary looking.
Anyway, my point is, I found his blog, and he mentioned his live-in girlfriend several times. And I was fine with that, glad he found someone. But then, in one of the most recent blogs, he talks about planning their wedding. Jesus.
Now, that makes every single boy I dated before I moved to California who is now married or engaged. Every boyfriend, they are all like committed for life. That messes my head up. Because, if you couldn't tell, my taste is often not so stellar, so these boys, they are mostly no prizes. And they all found people who want to be with them forever. And I pretty much don't even get asked on dates. Granted, I make some choices that make my life that way, and I know it. But still, it is totally depressing.

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